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It was Homecoming Night at my high school.
Everyone was there; It was totally cool.
I was real excited; I almost wet my jeans
'Cause my best friend, Debbie, was Homecoming Queen.
She looked so pretty in pink chiffon, Chiffon
Riding the float with her tiara on, Tiara on
Holding this humongous bouquet in her hand. Bouquet
She looked straight out of Disneyland!
You know that Cinderella ride?
I mean, definitely an E-ticket. E-ticket
The crowd was cheering, everyone was stoked was stoked
I mean it was like the whole school was totally coked or something.
The band was playing "Evergreen."
Then all of a sudden, somebody screamed:
(girl:)"Look out! The Homecoming Queen's got a GUN!!!" (ricochet, scream)

Everybody run! The Homecoming Queen's got a gun!
Everybody run! The Homecoming Queen has got a gun!
Debbie's smiling, and waving her gun,
Picking off cheerleaders one by one.
Oh! Buffy's pom poms just blew to bits!
Oh, no, Misty’s head just did the splits!
God, my best friend is on a shooting spree!
Stop it, Debbie, you're embarrassing me!
How could you do what you just did?
Are you having a really bad period?

Everybody run! The Homecoming Queen's got a gun!
Everybody run! The Homecoming Queen has got a gun!
Stop it, Debbie, you're making a mess!
Powder burns all over your dress.

An hour later, the cops had arrived
By then the entire glee club had died - no big loss.
You wouldn't believe what they brought to stop 'er:
Tear gas, machine guns... even a chopper!
cop:"Throw down your gun and tiara and come out of that float!"
Debbie didn't listen to what the cop said.
She aimed and fired, and now the math teacher's dead!
Oh, it's really sad, but kinda of a relief,
I mean, we had this big test coming up next week...

Everybody run, the Homecoming Queen's got a gun!
Everybody run, the Homecoming Queen has got a gun!
Debbie's really having a blast!
She's wasting half of the class!

The cops fired a warning shot that blew her off the float float.
I tried to scream "Duck!", but it stuck in my throat.
She hit the ground and did a flip; it was real acrobatic.
But I was crying so hard, I couldn't work my Instamatic.
I ran down to Debbie, I had to find out.
What made her do it, why'd she freak out?
I saw the bullet had got her right in the ear.
I knew then... the end was near.

So I ran down and said- in her good ear-
Debbie, why’d you do it?
She raised her head and smiled and said,
"I did it for Johnny."
Johnny, well like, who's Johnny? Answer me Debbie. Who's Johnny?
Is anybody here named Jhnny?
Are you Johnny? There was one guy named Johnny.
But he was a total geek; he always had food in his braces.
Answer me Debbie! Who's Johnny?
Oh God this is like that movie Citizen Kane,
You know, where you later find out Rosebud was a sled,
But we’ll never know who Johnny is because, like, she’s dead.

Everybody run! The Homecoming Queen’s got a gun!
Everybody run! The Homecoming Queen has got a...
Everybody run!
Everybody run! The Homecoming Queen’s got a...


No, probably not. :P

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
mega_d
May. 7th, 2005 01:14 am (UTC)
What do you mean?
A Citizen Kane reference in a song about valley girls! Of course it's funny!

"The cops fired a warning shot that blew her off the float"? Hahahahaha!
Heheh...
It's funny 'cause it's true.
mandydax
May. 7th, 2005 11:08 pm (UTC)
Re: What do you mean?
Just a lot of schools have have this happen in r/l. I still have a secret enjoyment of this song. D'oh! Secret's out.
mega_d
May. 8th, 2005 07:28 pm (UTC)
Re: What do you mean?
Oh, yeah... I'd kind of forgotten about, er, well, tact.

Maybe someday I'll learn that it's sometimes okay to let sensitivity stand in the way of a good joke. Yeah, it could happen.
amherstbelle
May. 9th, 2005 12:14 am (UTC)
Re: What do you mean?
Tact? What is this "tact" you speak of?
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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