My tweets

Sun, 12:36: Ready for the #SuperBowl. Small party here today. PS: Told ya my hair would be different. http://t.co/S9PXUiGASc
Sun, 13:29: RT @stjepansejic: @kateleth i couldn't agree more http://t.co/vzUQk3JnDE
Sun, 15:21: RT @BillyCrystal: http://t.co/ILoU5Ynp4v
Sun, 15:26: RT @BabyAnimalPics: me if i were a rabbit http://t.co/59zAhhzYsU
Sun, 15:26: My hero! "@BabyAnimalPics: me if i were a rabbit http://t.co/AiLv2HdP6d"
Sun, 15:43: "Hillary Clinton or Joe Biden?" Me: Joe who? #heyo
Sun, 17:01: XLIX is the name of my INXS cover band. @paulandstorm
Sun, 17:02: RT @Hypest_Problems: We've built up to this. http://t.co/J54JYJdzAI
Sun, 17:13: Thanks for making me feel weak, Reebok. :(
Sun, 17:22: RT @DrewFromTV: My prop bets: Heads. Nat'l Anthem over 122 seconds. Katy Perry wears a dress. Katy Perry shows cleavage.

Sun, 17:29: Guys, pteranodons and plesiosaurs aren't dinosaurs.
Sun, 17:30: RT @Hypest_Problems: FUCK YOU CHEVY COLORADO, I FELL FOR THAT SHIT, GO FUCK YOURSELVES, Y'ALL AIN'T CHILLIN'
Sun, 17:31: Never buying another #Chevy.
Sun, 17:38: Girl's got legs for daaaaaaaaaaaaaaays!
Sun, 17:53: Aw, yeah, Seahawks! #verticalLeap #interception #firstOfMany
Sun, 17:54: Omg, @chebutykin ,did you just see that? #MACHETE
Sun, 18:05: It's okay, I'd kiss you, Mindy.
Sun, 18:06: RT @mattkirshen: I hope that dog finds its horse fuck-buddy. #SuperBowl
Sun, 18:12: Way to give the Patriots a false sense of ability, Seahawks. #SuperBowl
Sun, 18:16: RT @ParkerMolloy: *pours a Coke on the internet, ends Gamer Gate*

Sun, 18:30: RT @NatashaMuse: If death were a cat we'd see a lot of life hacks.
Sun, 18:33: Yay.
Sun, 18:38: . @McDonalds My parents are dead. I gotta pay with money?
Sun, 18:39: Noooooo! My hard on!
Sun, 18:40: #TumescentFiat
Sun, 18:47: Boo.
Sun, 18:50: God damn, am I supposed to want bilateral BKAs ? Because I kind of want those cheetah feet.
Sun, 18:54: RT @RealAvocadoFact: Avocados don't make any money from scaring you about your children dying, just another quick fun fact about avocados.
Sun, 18:56: C'mon, field goal unit and a fake out!
Sun, 18:57: RT @jephjacques: #footballfact: the last 1 minute of a football game lasts over one million years in real time

Sun, 18:58: Yay! Yaaaaay! Woohoo! You rock!
Sun, 19:02: Holy shit, #depressingAds
Sun, 19:04: Nice gender stereotype reversal, @jimmyjohns. Well played.
Sun, 19:09: Camry dads are so much better than Nissan dads.
Sun, 19:11: Oh, shit, Son of God. It. Is. ON! #AD
Sun, 19:13: #SuperBowl #HalftimeShow already crazier than any of @katyperry's videos!
Sun, 19:13: I want that mecha tiger!
Sun, 19:14: Are those @Cirque performers? #HalftimeShow
Sun, 19:16: . @AnneWheaton got to the costumes! #VandalEyes #HalftimeShow
Sun, 19:17: I thought she was joking. #Sharkoreography #HalftimeShow

Sun, 19:18: Equestria Girls are kinda magical... 🎶
Sun, 19:23: #TheMoreYouKnow about the #HalftimeShow the crazier you'll think you are.
Sun, 19:29: RT @WhySharksMatter: So @katyperry 's #halftime show is still more scientifically accurate than @SharkWeek
Sun, 19:29: RT @LittleSkyz: but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked http://t.co/kFVbBTZDQp
Sun, 19:31: In case you missed the first half. #anyonesgame
Sun, 19:35: RT @SethMacFarlane: Great pic from the Halftime Show http://t.co/EMPgjUH9PO
Sun, 19:37: RT @MAKERSwomen: What does it mean to run #likeagirl? It means run as fast as you can. #SuperBowlSam #GirlsLoveFootball
Sun, 19:39: Who's gonna claim @angryneeson52?
Sun, 19:41: Someone go pour @CocaCola on the#LikeAGirl haters.
Sun, 19:43: Shit, man, livetweeting the #SuperBowl is super hard.

Sun, 19:44: RT @TheOrlandoJones: I encourage everyone to #runlikeagirl cause my uncle told me to run like a boy and a girl chased down & beat me up. #S…
Sun, 19:48: Woohoo #interception #secondOfMany
Sun, 19:52: RT @WillyFerrell: 50,000 RETWEETS AND ILL RUN ON THE FIELD http://t.co/ygnQtYWncj
Sun, 19:54: Wide fucking open. Yeehaw!
Sun, 19:54: That was a foul but the spike on the Pats' first TD wasn't? #cmonman
Sun, 19:55: RT @timdufresne: @JamesUrbaniak @happierman @marcmaron National telecast or it didn't happen!
Sun, 19:56: RT @melgotserved: Great #SuperBowl halftime show http://t.co/d14ReU7BBo
Sun, 19:57: "@DrRubidium: Sharks in half-time show were better & more educational than @discovery's entire #sharkweek." - a real scientist
Sun, 19:58: It's a boy. #tooBad @SarahKSilverman
Sun, 19:59: RT @kristenschaaled: Not allowed to dance after a touchdown? The NFL is like that town in Footloose. #SuperBowl

Sun, 19:59: RT @ParkerMolloy: Shark/Perry 2016 http://t.co/nkBGKxCaLU
Sun, 20:00: . @katyperry penalized 15 yds for dancing during #HalftimeShow #SuperBowl
Sun, 20:05: RT @ParkerMolloy: Spoke too soon; it also thinks I'm the shark http://t.co/B9LIXWfI7q
Sun, 20:07: RT @orchetect: Kitty Purry half-time show, thanks to @AnimalPlanet http://t.co/9IJVhYkoZM
Sun, 20:19: Raping a football player is still rape, #Ted2Movie .
Sun, 20:27: Guys, I think he danced. Execute him! #SuperBowl
Sun, 20:31: RT @JosephScrimshaw: No! Patriots touchdown! Like the Death Star blowing up Alderaan! A disturbance in the #SuperBowl!
Sun, 20:32: Pretty sure that is cheating, tortoise. #MercedesBenz
Sun, 20:33: RT @ParkerMolloy: OMG RT @RuthanneReid: #BACKTOTHEFUTURE WAS RIGHT http://t.co/TWOaUycXdY
Sun, 20:36: #50shadesisabuse

Sun, 21:05: Take your ball and go home.
Sun, 21:06: I better have a #SuperBowel after all the food I just ate.
Sun, 21:07: Boo.
Sun, 21:08: The Patriots: The Yankees of football. #yesthatsaninsult
Sun, 21:11: #NASCAR #noHomo despite the mustache.
Sun, 21:17: Belichick LeStrange #AddAFootballCoachMakeADeathEaterEviler
Sun, 21:22: Worst. Star Wars. Medallion ceremony parody. Ever. #SuperBowl
Sun, 21:25: Do we still get to riot even though we won/lost? (delete as appropriate) #SuperBowl
Sun, 21:28: RT @kylenabilcy: Belichick walks into the lockerroom, cradles Julian Edelman’s head, and smothers him with a pillow to end his suffering an…
Sun, 21:35: With the sacrifice of an assured victory by the Seahawks, Bill Belichick is appeased and will return to slumber in R'lyeh. #SuperBowl #iaia

Sun, 21:36: RT @bobpowers1: Star of the next Nationwide commercial http://t.co/8DKJk7kG7n