1. If the site has "free" in the name, it is verboten.
2. If Bruce tells me something is "virus-free," this means "free virus."
3. MS Internet Explorer is not my friend. It is the Antichrist.
3.1. Get Firefox this week.
4. Bruce gets no more help cleaning the crap out of his computer.
4.1. Tell Bruce that it is not his wife's, his children's, his cats', or his dog's fault th crap is in his computer.
5. Feel really dumb if I break these rules.
Ok, so I guess these are also resolutions. I'm a dip-shit. :P