As I told you all in a previous post, I saw my doctor on Monday about depression and anxiety. She put me on Lexapro, and, while I'm sure the drug hasn't had time to make much of an impact in two whole days, I do feel a lot better. I'm maybe a little bit hyper. It may be that my brain is starting to function at a normal pace as sort of like when you think there's one more stair at the top of a flight, it's overcompensating. I've certainly been less cynical, less frustrated, and more at ease. It's kind of strange. I catch myself having done something like... giggling, and I'm amazed. Part of me wonders if this might be part placebo effect. I know there hasn't been time for the drug to work its magic on me, and yet I do feel better. Maybe it's a bit of hope in the fact that I was able to ask for help.
There has been another problem that's had me worried, and was the actual primary reason I called the doctor. Recently, I noticed that my left breast had become larger and was tender and that the ductal mass was quite hard and painful. It really reminded me of how it felt when I was first on the hormones and budding, as it were. Anyway, the doctor set up an appointment for me with the Breast Imaging Clinic here in the hospital. They did a mammogram, which was a strange experience, and I must say it wasn't as bad as people make out, although the part where they did the special focus on the affected area was a bit pinchy and hurty. Thanks be to the nurse who called with the appointment time who told me to take some IB before coming. After that, the radiologist wanted me to go to ultrasound so they could get a different view of the densities in the tissue. They have a warmer pocket for the gel. It was also a strange and novel experience for me. Not uncomfortable at all. Then there was the wait while the radiologist reviewed all the images. He came in and said that he didn't see anything that looked like a lump or mass that could indicate a cancer (which matched up with my doctor's and my tactile exams). So, given a clean bill of health, or at least my boobies were. I'll be following up with my doctor in a few weeks about the Lexapro, and we'll review all this then. As you might imagine, it is a big weight off my mind. My mother had a small breast cancer and had a lumpectomy with radiation and chemotherapy, so you can imagine that was only increasing my dread. I'm very much relieved at the diagnosis.
Also, October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Don't take chances. If you notice a sudden change or feel a lump, call to see your doctor. I'm glad I did.
Oh, and after that, I thought about going back home and getting maybe another hour or two of sleep, but I didn't do so. I actually went to the DoT's Licensing Station and renewed my license. No more restrictions! Woot! Then I went to the yarn shop, stitched for a bit, then went to work. I didn't take the path of most sleep or fewest people. That's fantastic! It's amazing how not-sad I am. What's more is that the happiness I feel about being not-sad only makes the not-sad better. It's been a long time since I really felt okay, like I could really be alright. It gives me hope, and that helps, too. ^_^