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Oct. 1st, 2007

Thanks to everyone who commented support or suggestions to my last post.

I went to the doctor today and told her about my depression/anxiety and ask if there was any kind of medication she could give me. Maybe one that didn't have so many side-effects. She gave me a few of the sample packets (8 weeks worth) of Lexapro. Hopefully it will help. I'd been on Zoloft from about 8 years to maybe 2 years ago. I think it messed with some of my long-term memory, and I'd like to not have that this time. Memory problems weren't on the short list of side-effects for Lexapro, and occurrence is about the same as placebo. This gives me a great deal of hope that perhaps with a bit of tweaking my brain can start working as intended. Actually having taken that step to ask for the help was a huge one, and gives me hope that things will soon be okay.

I didn't end up going to my cousin's wedding on Saturday because of an anxiety attack about it. I shut off my phone so no one could call me. Whenever I thought about it, I started to cry, so I just decided not to go, and it made me feel a lot better. I really didn't get around to doing anything I intended to do this weekend. I couldn't even stand to be in P's company last night for more than about an hour. I couldn't even be motivated to tidy my own room.


Oct. 2nd, 2007 11:39 am (UTC)
I hope all goes well! I know how hard it is to find the right meds. Jeff took a few years and it was a really tough time.

Remember that depression and anxiety are physical problems, not personal failings. If you had cancer or diabetes, you wouldn't feel weird about getting treatment for them. Think of your disease in that way. At least that helped me when we were figuring out Jeff's problems.
Oct. 2nd, 2007 07:04 pm (UTC)
Funny, that's pretty much exactly what the nurse said. She used to be super-shy until she got on the right SRI. Some people need to take synthroid or insulin, and some people need to take something to help with serotonin. I know it's a physical brain problem; I just was hoping that I might never need the meds again.
Oct. 4th, 2007 10:46 pm (UTC)
There's no shame in taking medicine if it helps you live a good life. :)

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