June 9th, 2006

Puns, Pipe Dream

I think they'd have better luck...

...passing an Amendment if they defined it as on living human male and one living human female. I had a really weird set of dreams last night. One was where I was in a house like the one from The Ring with 3 other people, and we were searching for one's girlfriend. She was under the floorboards in a coffin, and he opened the casket up and started reading vows to her. It was a bit like Corpse Bride, but he did it on purpose to raise her from the dead. Another dream had me living with cavemen that were making cloth from "kidney tree" fuzz. Strange dreams.
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Body parts I do not necessarily need

by Andrew R. Juhl (from the Daily Iowan: The Ledge)

• appendix (check)
• gallbladder
• wisdom teeth (check)
• coccyx
• each plica semilunaris (the small fold of tissue on the inside corner of the eye which is the vestigial remnant of the nictitating membrane present in other animals)
• every hair follicle not on my head
• the left and right plantaris muscles (I had to look it up)
• one kidney (either one)
• one eye (either one)
• one lung (either one)
• one testicle (preferably the left) (check-check)
• digits two and four on one hand
• digit three on the other hand
• four toes (any two from either foot)
• ovaries (and the like) (and testicles?! check... v_v)
• dewclaw (snicker, check)
• a third leg (of the non-idiomatic variety) (um, check?)
• moobs (LMAO!, and check. I gots woobs.)
— Andrew R. Juhl also has a heart he's not currently using, but he doesn't want to sell it, for sentimental reasons. E-mail him at: andrew-juhl@uiowa.edu

My comments in italics, der.