Miranda (mandydax) wrote,
Miranda
mandydax

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Pirate Ramona the Malformed announces Talk-Like-a-Pirate Weekend to All Ye Scurvy Dogs!

This comin' Sundee is National Talk-Like-a-Pirate Dee. Now since it falls on a Sundee this year, th' creators of this proud holidee have raided th' rest o' the weekend, raised the Jolly Roger, an' claimed todee thru Sundee National Talk-Like-a-Pirate Weekend. Since ye may not be familiar with the speak of the sea-dogs, she's given ye parlee an' some help in this.

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Talkin' Like a Pirate
She suggests ye try these fine sites, me bucko. T' talk more like a pirate, ye'll want some basic lessons. Try here for a wond'rous glossary fer pirates t' be, an' here fer a bit o' learnin' in th' ways o' pirate-speak.

If ye're havin' trouble speakin' like a buccanneer, an' ye want some help, go here. It's an excellent translator.

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Her Favorite Pirate Joke:

A boy dresses up as a pirate fer All Hallow's Eve, an' goes by himself trick-or-treatin'. He goes t' an old lady's house an' rings th' bell. The old lass answers th' door, an' th' boy says, "Trick or Treat!" Th' woman thinks him very cute in his costume an' says, "Are you a pirate?" Th' boy replies, "O' course I'm a pirate! Now what will it be, wench, trick or treat?" The old lass smiles an' says, "Well, if you are a pirate, where are your buccaneers?" Th' boy gets frustrated, points t' his ears, an' bellows, "Right here! Where be yer buckin' eyes?"

Harharharharrrr!

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Her First Pirate Song:
"Friggin' in the Riggin'" by th' Sex Pistols:

It was on the good ship Venus
By Christ, ya shoulda seen us
The figurehead
Was a whore in bed
And the mast, a mammoth penis

The captain of this lugger
He was a dirty bugger
He wasn't fit
To shovel shit
From one place to another

[Chorus:]
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
There was fuck all else to do

The captain's name was Morgan
By Christ, he was a gorgon
Ten times a day
He'd stop and play
With his fuckin' organ

The first mate's name was Cooper
By Christ he was a trooper.
He jerked and jerked
Until he worked
Himself into a stupor

[Chorus]

The second mate was Andy
By Christ, he had a dandy
Till they crushed his cock
On a jagged rock
For cumming in the brandy

The cabin boy was Flipper
He was a bloody nipper
He stuffed his ass
With broken glass
And circumcised the skipper

[Chorus]

The Captain's wife was Mabel
To fuck she was not able
So the dirty shits,
They nailed her tits
Across the barroom table

The Captain had a daughter
Who fell in deep sea water
And by her squeals
We knew the eels
Had found 'er sexual quarters

[Repeat Chorus to Fade]


She told ye that ye'd be offended! Yarrr!

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Pirate Names
Yer pirate name be:

Mad Morgan Kidd


Ever' pirate be a little bit crazy. Ye, though, be more than just a little bit. E'en though ye`re nay always th' traditional swaggerin' gallant, yer steadiness an' plannin' make ye a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

Yer pirate name be:

The Blood-Letter


Yer pirate name be:

Anne Fierce Heart


We'll now call ye:

Pirate Ramona the Malformed


Yarrr. It suits her well.

Find yer pirate name generators here. Th' first be a quiz, but th' rest be simple enter yer name an' click ahoy type.

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Fair winds, me hearties!
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