They had to measure the thickness of my corneas, which was a weird experience. First, anasthetic drops in the eyes. Those squeamish may want to skip to the next paragraph now. The nurse took this little probe thing with a rounded glass tip (as best I could tell in my blindness) connected to the machine by a fiber optic and touched the tip to my corneas, each in turn four times. No sensation of pain or pressure, just a little distortion around the tip of the probe.
So, I got a Rx and took it to the optical center for frames and lenses. I got a $105 pair (frames and lenses), and I like them enough to keep them for fakewear after the surgery. After I get those, I have to be out of contacts for at least three weeks, and then I have two appointments on the 6th of Feb. One in the morning is a "Wave Scan," which sounds very Trekkish. It's "like a fingerprint for your eye." It evidentally maps the surface and interior of the cornea very accurately and precisely, which is, of course, very important. Then in the afternoon, the second appointment is the "Long Evaluation." I'm really not sure what that's about, but it's necessary and also very important.
After that, I keep with the glasses and come back on the 19th for the actual surgery. They only have the machine that does the procedure once per month. It's a strange idea initially, but they lease it on a rotation with other hospitals so that they always have the most up to date equipment for the procedure. After that, I'll have to avoid touching my eyes for a while, maybe wear pirate patches on both for a couple days (j/k), and within a few days, my eyes will be better than new. I'm sure I have some conceptions wrong about the post-procedure, but I'll be given more details when the time comes.
So, for the irony bit, it's just that after years of not even owning glasses, I have to buy a pair so I can get rid of my myopia for good.