Spells not to remember
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capnbuckle showed me this.101 Spells Not Worth Memorizing
A few of my own: I got carried away...
Invisibility to Blind
Magic Epistle
Meaty Swarm II (Meatier Swarm)
Mordenkainen's Bleeding Ulcer (self only)
No Can-doo
Phantasmal Forceps
Polymorph Otter
Protection from Nermal (Garfield created this spell)
Read Haiku
Reverse Gravity (Hey, now it's not sad. It's funny!)
Smörgåsborg
Pope Trick
Solid Log (Useful if you have diarrhea)
Speak With Bed
Speak With Ted Danson
Speak To Hand
Telabort
Tenser's Floppy Disk
Tenser's Whisk
Tenser's Ruptured Disk
Rhyme Stop (No more rhyming, and I mean it!)
Transmute FAT32 to NTFS (not reversible)
Rap With Soul
Turn Dead (priests and undertakers only)
Turn Self
Turn Greater Dead (like Lincoln; priests and undertakers only)
Lightning Colt .45 (the beer)
Unseen, Unheard, Insubstantial Servant
Unseen Savant
Braise Dead
Wall of Hair
Wall of Alma Mater
Wall of Fryer (That's a big turkey)
Wall of Afterbirth
Blink (somatic component: close then open eyes in rapid succession; makes everything disappear from your view for split second)
Delusion (self only)
Bedazzle (with those glue-on sparklies)
Slow Children Playing
Slow Punster
Hairball
Magic Shell (for your ice cream)
Spoon Lightning
Spork Lightning
Wonder (you wonder why you cast it; duration 5 rounds)
Bigby's Soothing Hand
Enchant Houseguest
Polymorph Shapeshifter
Polymorph Doppelgänger
Taunt Happy Fun Ball
Bigby's Wringing Hands
Spamtrip
Charm Bracelet
Clear Voyuer (useful if there's a Peeping Tom in your party)
Cone of Cylons
Cure Light Canker Sores
Black Hole (centers on caster)
Delayed Blast Hairball
Curse (Dammit, Janet! What the fuck?!)
Detect Shelf
Dimension Wall
Dimension Deadbolt
Curse Self
Delayed Blast Glueball (appears in caster's hand and must be thrown; delay: 5 sec)
Summon and Aggravate Tiamat
Fear of Spellcasting (self only)
Feign Depp (Watch me do my Edward Scissorhands impression!)
Fireballs (self only; male casters only)
Shrink Gnat
Fists of Furry
Get Bent
Stinking Lout
Indivisible by Zero
Power Word, Flatulate
Power Word, Krill
Ruffle Feathers
- Mood:
amused - Music:Garbage - As Heaven Is Wide
Comments
Now, to assign levels to them all...
Pope Trick: ROFLMAO
Transmute FAT32 to NTFS: Actually, this is reversible, but the reverse process is not a spell, but a ritual that would span an entire campaign...
Fireballs: Owww.
Become Self
Boil Lava
Braise Diaper
Cone of Sedate Bees
Create Nothing
Cure Health
Darken Tar
Detect Ground
Diss Self
Elixer of Furious Hornets
Ezekiel's Indignant Stare
Fix Sand
Fizzle Spell (self)
Forge Bush
Frame Self
Great Googly Moogly
Greet Walmart Greeter
Hear Factor
Hypnotize Aardvark
Identify Pants
Imagine Spell
Indelible Pink
L33t1fy
Liquify Water
Lurk
Moan at Undead
Mouth of Atomic Fireballs (self)
Mordenkeinen's Lickable Cat Sundae
Name Treestump
Nocturnal Emission (self)
Open Pudding Pie
Organize Pocket Lint
Ornithopter Deodorant Spray
Pick Nose
Pickle Herring
Power Word, Spill
Punch Grand Coulee Dam
Quarrel with Self
Quiet Silence
Quit Job
Run Away
Rupture Spleen (self)
Shave Wombat
Shuffle Board
Stalk Self
Tickle Pink
Transmute Gold to Lead
Undulate Orifice
Untie Shoe
Undermine Efforts (self)
Vacate Colon
Vash's Stampede
Wall of Internal Organs
Wall of Bitter Crack Babies
Wall of Internet
Wail of Old
Yar's Revenge
Yesterday's News
Zip Up Pants (button-fly only)
Orifice...
Ok, I give in. I liked "Taunt Happy Fun Ball", "Fists of Furry" and "L33t1fy" of Trifthen's.